This SALTY Life: "T" is for Transformation (Part 1)

‍‍First off, I must confess that yes, with regards to this column, I have been MIA… "Missing In Action" since my last piece in November 2023. There's a reason for that. I am personally smack dab in the middle of a major life "transformation" of my own… and it's a doosie. One brought about by the passing of my beloved wife of 42+ years, Anita, this past Valentine's Day.

That said… I am slowly climbing back into the saddle, and setting down words is part of the grieving/healing process for me. So, even though it's safe to assume that none of you readers had any contact with my spouse, I'm sharing the note (in part) below that I crafted and sent out to Anita's very large and diverse circle of relationships upon her departure from earth-life, and her entrance into an eternal existence:

"It is with a heavy heart that I have to share the news of the passing of my wife, Anita. For the majority of you who receive this it will likely come as a shock, but it stems from a decision that Anita made when she was diagnosed with stage-4 metastatic pancreatic cancer in 2016. Our family was devastated to hear that the best prognosis we could hope for would be 6-12 months of life for someone with this advanced disease progression."

"Writing this nearly eight years later is nothing short of a miracle that now buoys myself and our daughters as we navigate this loss. Anita's own personal desire was to keep the circle of people who knew about her diagnosis very small. She wanted to continue to work and enjoy life with her family, friends, colleagues, and clients without the stigma of the big "C" looming over her relationships. We took her lead and kept her diagnosis private as we moved forward along a very challenging path.

"Those who knew Anita can attest that she has never been average at anything she does or puts her mind to. Our quest for effective treatment took us to many oncology specialists and clinics across the U.S. This journey eventually led us to Dr. Keith Block at the Block Center for Integrative Cancer in Chicago. Beginning about four years ago, Anita would board a plane every other week to undergo their unique integrative chemotherapy regimen.

"She managed to do this all while maintaining normalcies with family, friends and real estate relationships back home in Seattle. Here's what I know, having had a front-row seat these past 7.5 years: the level of sheer grit and grace on Anita's part is something that I will never again witness in my lifetime. Many of her providers voiced the same sentiments, and one of the doctors on her team shared, "I would never bet against Anita…she is a literal force of nature."

"In March 2023 she was able to celebrate the marriage of our youngest daughter, Georgia, in Palm Springs. It was a triumph for many reasons and Anita glowed with health. It was a magical weekend, and we relished what looked like momentum towards full recovery. However, in late autumn this past year her body began to succumb to maladies beyond the cancer.

"These health issues, combined with her having endured over 120 chemo sessions over the years, took a significant toll. She was on palliative care shortly after the new year and we were fortunate to have her home for few weeks before she was recently admitted to in-patient hospice at UW Medical Center. Anita peacefully passed away this Valentine's Day with her family present."

I am fully aware that it's safe to say that you, dear reader, have experienced this kind of loss yourself somewhere along the path of your life; that you have had to, in the past, or even now, experience a level of "transformation" that is painful, unexpected and uninvited. Please take heart. You and I WILL get through this and come out the other end having been changed into something new… and yes, as hard as it is to imagine right now, in the midst of it… better. (Stay tuned for Part 2)

Stay SALTY,
Mike Hearl