This SALTY Life: "T" is for Transformation (Part 2)

In last week's column (4/21/24), I laid out the transformation territory that I find myself now navigating. And I ended that column with a promise to you, the reader… that no matter how unexpected, uninvited, and painful the change that one may be facing in this life, we WILL come through it. Not only that, but at some point in time, we may receive the grace that allows us to look back and see ourselves as better humans for this testing.

I know… Gee, life would be so much "better" if there were no tests, no trials, no tribulations landing on my doorstep, right? Sorry, but life here on earth is not always easy. To quote Scott Peck, in the opening lines of his perennial best-selling book, The Road Less Traveled: "Life is difficult… this is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see the truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult."

So, perspective, how we see things, is crucial to how we experience things. I have found that it's helpful to see that when it comes to stuff like testing and transformations, there is a process that one moves through. First, something STOPS. (It could be a job, a relationship, one's health, financial security, a business, etc., etc.) Next comes the MESSY MIDDLE.

Then, at the end of the MESSY MIDDLE, something new STARTS.

Pretty straightforward, pretty simple, right? Nope… that dang MESSY MIDDLE! In the "MESSY MIDDLE," there is a lot of wandering around in the desert, searching for clarity, trying to make sense of things. It's a time of uncertainty. And if there's one thing we humans don't like, it's uncertainty. In fact, we hate it. We chafe under it, impatient for the much-needed clarity to come.

But here's the deal: this MESSY-MIDDLE-refining-phase has to run its course in order for us to be made ready for the START of the new thing. And the new thing WILL COME…trust me. Just be patient. Ahh, there's the rub.

We live and move in a culture that places little value on patience, on waiting. I myself am certainly guilty of this. Hey, if some video clip is taking its own sweet time in down-loading on my smartphone, I can feel that frustration kicking in. We EXPECT life to happen the way we want, when we want it, at the push of a button, the tap of the screen. Oh, but remember those words of wisdom above. We're better off if we don't EXPECT that life is going to happen just the way we want it, when we want it. We should expect it to be "difficult." Which in my book, is pretty much anything and everything that has the audacity to go against my expectations.

Let me ask you a question. Let's say that you like your soft-boiled egg "done to perfection"… (which for you is at the 7.5-minute mark of your timer.) Do you get stressed, frustrated, angry, and upset at the 5-minute mark? Of course not. Why? Because you know if you wait 2.5 more minutes you will be rewarded with a perfectly done soft-boiled egg. Take it out of the hot water too soon, and you're not going to be happy with the result. Such is life… “C’est la vie,” as the French say. Such is the process of transformation. And further, transformation has an inside-out component.

There is "soul-work" being done during that MESSY MIDDLE… and that takes a certain amount of allotted time… most likely a lot more than 7.5 minutes.

Here's something for us all to consider. There is a natural impatience in the human soul that forms its judgments regarding its progress, not after divine standards but after human standards. I'm going to leave you now to "simmer" with the first lines of one of my favorite poems:

"Now I Become Myself" by May Sarton.

Now I become myself.
It's taken Time, many years, and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there….

Stay SALTY,
Mike Hearl